By Mimi Adebayo
Tamuno and Dupe have been friends for almost six years, they’re somewhat akin to best friends because they’ve shared each other’s major moments, they’ve shared laughter, tears and problems but it never crossed their minds that they will end up married. They both poohed at the idea- according to them, they were friends, not husband and wife material. Tamuno saw Dupe as one of the guys and Dupe saw him as her confidante. According to them there was no attraction there; they knew too many things about each other. They went on to date different people and their relationships almost always never lasted.
Ten years after being friends, they ended up at the altar. They were not ‘in love’ but they loved each other. It turned out that after fifteen years of marriage, they are still crazy about themselves.
Passion or friendship, which would you go for? Admittedly, swimming in the throes of passion is an amazing feeling but not enough to build a marriage on. I’ve often heard couples say, “My wife/husband is my best friend.”
Truth is there’s almost nothing as gratifying as marrying your friend, someone who you have no problem talking to. Remember; every marriage will go through trying times which would determine whether the spouses walk out of their marriage or not. And since friendship is like a rare diamond, it is difficult for two friends to walk out of their friendship. My point is; when the passion in a marriage fades and disaster rears its ugly head, it is only friendship that can fan the dying embers of a marriage back to life.
When your spouse is your best friend, it’s almost impossible to hide anything from them, you share everything with them; your down moments, your victories, your weaknesses. There is mutual understanding among you. Communication is not usually a problem for best friends, there’s no question of getting bored. You talk to each other and not at each other which is more than some couples can say for themselves.
When your spouse is your best friend; marriage is easier. It is like sliding into another phase of your friendship, one that makes the bond between you two stronger. You both are in sync with your lives; emotionally, physically and all round. Friendship is the wood that keeps the fire in a marriage burning.
I am not trying to say that couples who get married without the foundation of friendship will end up in failed marriages; I’m just saying it is easier to navigate the institution of marriage with someone you’ve known for a while instead of a total stranger.
For every five pros, there has to be one con; the con I can point out for friends marrying each other is the lack of mutual respect; they might begin to take each other for granted because they know themselves inside and out. Ultimately, the success of a marriage depends on the couple; no one can make your marriage work except you.