By Mr. B.
I do not know if my dad ever rocked me as a child, but I hope he did because most dads do. But I can’t remember if we had physical contacts more than brushes here and there, I can’t remember him holding me in an embrace like a teddy bear like mama did and still does, as a matter of fact, dad gave me an awkward hug when he dropped me off at the boarding school for the first time. It was a clumsy awkward hug, it was brief and almost didn’t happen unlike mama whose embrace lasts more than 30 seconds.
I do not know why fathers are not given to display of affection with their sons, most are comfortable holding their daughters and they survive the hugs, kisses and loud mouthed shouts of love the girls throw at them. It at least tell me, these stuff don’t kill men and as I approach fatherhood, I tell myself I’ll be affectionate to my boys.
The feelings that exist between father and son are rarely expressed. As dads hardly say ‘I’m so proud of you’ even when it’s obvious he is, so do sons rarely appreciate the father for the sacrifices made and for courage shown. Would you write your dad a letter of appreciation or acknowledgment?
A letter of appreciation if he was the ideal father, the man whose arms were strong for hugs and balls, the one who taught you how to shave, the one who showed you how to roll with pals and women, the one who showed up at school closing parties, the one who taught you to pray, the one who loved your mama and pay the bills…the one you want to always look up to.
A letter of acknowledgment if he was not everything you liked, if his actions or inactions had hurt you in times past, not because you want him to know how much he’s hurt you but because you need to understand what you feel about your father. He’s your first model of manhood and his actions towards you shaped your life. You may necessarily not show him the letter.
I’ll write my dad a letter, a letter of appreciation and pass my love and hugs over ink and I’ll have someone hand it over to him, I’m sure this would make the hugs easier the next time I visit.