A number of cliché quotes point to the irrelevance of age in the context of love and relationships: “Love is blind”, “Age is just a number”. In reality, the issue of age, though muted in modernized settings, still holds importance.
I was at a social gathering with a few friends recently, (but bear in mind, first, that I’m in my early thirties, hence void of the old-school mental frame our parents have) when a mutual friend informed us that she is getting married to a much older man in his fifties. We were stunned not because of her late wedding announcement, but because… a fifty plus old man isn’t what we had hoped for our thirty-three year ‘young’ friend.
But while we seemed convinced that our friend had lost it, she reassured us of her undying love for her soon-to-be husband. Who are we kidding, this marriage model isn’t unorthodox in our society, actually it’s more ubiquitous than we cared to admit. But it’s a two-edged sword.
Like most scenarios of double standards in our society, the woman is tagged a gold-digger while the man is hailed as a hero. Should we put the blame entirely on society for such derogatory deductions? They aptly say: there’s no smoke without fire. It just so happens that the older men who end up with young-blooded women – like my friend – are very rich.
But can this be debunked? Perhaps true love is the propelling emotion. Perhaps, the wrinkled skin and fading eyesight is just life; like age is just a number. If we are to subscribe to this, would it still be love when, poof, the money disappears? Would my friend maintain her stance on love?
We can’t tell a person’s intention, so there can be no conclusion on this, but we can empirically try to deduce the character of older men in such situations. The older man has experienced life more; hence he is more set in his ways and may have you as his property; worse still is if he is convinced you’re with him for his money.
“Who cares? An older man would treat me better than any young guy I’ve ever met” is the anthem of excuses from young ladies who have been hurt by men their age, giving them the need to seek alternatives, which in this case are older men.
My personal opinion is that young women should be with men within their age range. Rather than sacrificing your feelings on the altar of materialistic gain, work hard to earn the money you want, so you can live on your own terms.
I’ll leave you with a verse from Desiderata: “Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.”