By Bimbola Segun-Amao
A mother taught and trained her children ( 4 boys and 2 girls) to be domestic. Each of them can cook, and I don’t mean rice boiling; I mean they can make amala, pound yam, prepare ewedu, make efo-riro, fry egusi, akara, prepare moin-moin…as long as it’s a family delicacy, any of the children can successfully be the cook.
She insisted they did their laundry themselves, and some of their dad’s briefs. The prize for being the best at this task is being responsible for her laundry- one huge task as her clothes must be impeccably done.
The boys were not allowed to hit the girls; the cause and magnitude of rage not considered – it was a ground rule “if you hit her, you’ve lost the case”. If the guys don’t lose their cool, mom gets to discipline/punish/spank the erring girl appropriately. Irene grew up with that woman; she’s her mom.
Imagine her shock after marriage when her hubby wouldn’t do HIS OWN laundry because it’s the woman’s thing. He would prefer to sleep when hungry than boil rice before Irene returns because he wasn’t ‘brought up’ to cook. He would watch TV or sprawl lazily on bed while she continues with the draining multi-tasking house cleaning she has been sentenced to by one mama’s error.
It’s faulty nurturing to make the girl-child do all domestic chores because you are ‘preparing her for marriage’ while the boy-child is left all alone idle. Ability and skills to cook, sweep and clean up after you prepares no one for marriage; it makes you responsible, neat, organized and self dependent. Ability to keep up friendship, communicate, forgive and love again are more likely to keep anyone in a marriage than having her burying her head in dishes.
I call guys who can’t handle any domestic chores and are unapologetic about it mama’s errors; they do nothing else for the home than provide funds. If the guy can’t and he’s apologetic, maybe I could live with it and make him pay cash for the one who would do the chores as I may not be able to keep up with doing the job of two.
It’s possible you share a name with one; you are his missus. It’s okay- but the chain doesn’t have to continue, be kind to your future DIL, make sure her husband (your son) has some housekeeping skills.