Laugh Quote
“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” – Oliver Herford
Wise Guys Answer To Stupid Question
Question: What are you doing about your weight?
Wise Guy: Moving it through space with grace, power, and joy.
Student
Talking Clock
A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house.
“This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room … “
“And what are this hammer and pot that is hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?” one of his colleagues asked.
“This is a talking clock.”
“I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?”
“Sure. Look,” the student said.
He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side,
“What you are doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!”
Business Joke
Management Style
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”
The man below replies, “You must work in management.”
“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
Cutting Comment
“If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”
Married Life
Tip Required
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
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