Laugh Quote
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
Wise Guys Answer To Stupid Question
Question: Do you need to eat that?
Wise Guy: I thought that you were an accountant, are you also a dietitian?
Teacher And Student
A student comes to a young professor’s office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
“I would do anything to pass this exam.”
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
“I mean…” she whispers, “
I would do…anything.”
He returns her gaze.
“Anything?”
Anything.”
His voice softens.
“Anything??”
“Absolutely anything.”
His voice turns to a whisper.
“Would you…study?”
Business Joke
A young accountant, straight out of university, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man, “but mainly I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” “How do you mean?” says the accountant. “I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters.” “OK,” says the accountant. “How much are you offering?” “You can start on seventy-five thousand,” says the owner. “Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?” “That,” says the man, “is your first worry.”
Cutting Comment
“Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”
Married Life
All Gay
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”
The man says, “I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend.”
The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartenders ask, “What’s wrong this time?”
The man says, “I found out that my son is gay.”
The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asks, “Doesn’t anyone in your family like women?”
The man looks up and says, “Apparently my wife does.”
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