Laugh Quote
“If at first, you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.”
William Lyon Phelps
Wise Guys Answer To Stupid Question
Question: Don’t you know that being fat is unhealthy?
Wise Guy: I base my decisions on evidence, not anecdotes. There are people who survive when their parachutes don’t open, but I’m still going to wear a parachute. The vast majority of the time intentional weight loss attempts lead to weight gain not better health in the long term, so weight loss is too dangerous a choice for me.
Corny Chat Up Line
My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.
Business Joke
Efficiency Expert Boss
A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing. The owner walks up to the young man and says: “Son, how much do you make a day?”
The guy replies: “150 dollars!”
The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to get out and never come back.
A few minutes later, the shipping clerk asks the owner: “Have you seen that UPS driver? I asked him to wait here for me!”
Cutting Comment
“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
Married Life
Compliment
A woman standing in front of the mirror complains to her husband:
I look ugly. At least you tell me any compliment!
Husband: Your vision is perfect!
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