Laugh Quote
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”– Zsa Zsa Gabor
Wise Guys Answer To Stupid Question
Question: Do you need to eat that?
Answer: I thought that you were an accountant, are you also a dietitian?
Teacher And Student
Ignoramus
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this pointless information” “To save lives.” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted. “It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school,” replied the professor.
Corny Chat Up Line
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Business Joke
All maths
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: “My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.”
Cutting Comment
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
Married Life
Looking good
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket and then orders another double martini.
After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another one.
The bartender says: “Look, buddy, I’ll bring you martini’s all night long – but you got to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.”
The customer replies: “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I will know it’s time to go home!”
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