Laugh Quote
“At every party, there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”– Ann Landers
Large Steps
Son: Dad I failed my safety quiz
Dad: What? How?
Son: I missed the only question
Dad: What was the question?!?!
Son: What steps do we take in case of fire?
Dad: And what did you say?!
Son: Well I said f*cking large ones but apparently that’s not rich
Dad: You are such a dumbass
Bet piss
One night in a bar a man walked up to the barman and said “you see that glass in the other end of the bar? I bet you $100 I can piss in it from here.” the barman says, “You’re on!” so the guy starts to piss everywhere on everyone even the barman, except for the glass. “Ha!” says the barman. “You owe me $100” so the guy says “wait here.” and he walks to a pool table and gets money from someone and they laugh. “Here it is” the man says. “Thanks. By the way, why did you two laugh? You lost the bet” “oh” says the man. “I bet him $1000 I could piss everywhere in the bar and even on you and you’d still be smiling”
Corny Chat Up Line
I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
Business Joke
A world-famous movie star is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his motivational speech to a group of businessmen, when a man walks up to him.
“Excuse me, sir, I don’t want to bother you, but my name is Steve, and I’m here with an extremely important client tonight. We’re going to see your speech, and it would be a great help to me if, when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, ‘Hello, Steve’.”
The movie star readily agrees, and fifteen minutes later, the man walks by, deep in conversation with his client.
The star comes up and says, “Hello, Steve.”
Steve replies, “Not now! I’m in a meeting,” and keeps walking.
Cutting Comment
“I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.” –
Married Life
Three wishes
So there were 3 friends trapped on the desert…. They found a lamp that has a genie in it the genie said: I will give you 1 wish each the first guy wished to be home same with the second one the third man’s wish is “I’m lonely I wish my 2 friends were here”
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