Laugh Quote
“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.” – Ricky Gervais
Wise Guys Answer To Stupid Question
Question: Is that yours???
Wise Guy: Actually I took it out of your wallet.
Corny Chat Up Line
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
Business Joke
I used to be a blackjack host but I got offered a better deal.
Cutting Comment
“Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
Married Life
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded. “I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?” “I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.” He said, “Do you have a real grudge?” “No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.” “Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?” “Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.” “Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?” “Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.” Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?” “Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!”
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