Laugh Quote
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I am.
I am who?
You mean you don’t know who you are?
Wise Guys Answer To Stupid Question
Question: Did I do something wrong, officer?
Wise Guy (police officer): No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses so I decided to give some of them away.
Business Joke
Management by envelopes
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day, the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.”
Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong – the usual stuff – and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says “Blame your predecessor!” He does this and gets off the hook.
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize!” This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says “Prepare three envelopes”.
Cutting Comment
“I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.”
Married Life
Heroic Deed
Wife telling her husband about a wonderful program she had watched on TV. The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in grave danger to help out someone they hardly knew. Husband replies, “That sounds a lot like getting married.”
Do you have a favourite joke? Please share it with our readers.
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