I saw the look on her face.
Her silence spoke volumes
More than I had ever heard her speak.
She looked frail
Broken on the inside.
A look of agony encrypted on her face.
My mother staring into space
Seeing nothing.
Lost in her thoughts
My presence unnoticed.
She looked through me
She was oblivious to my presence.
I could tell her thoughts
Thoughts of her only son
How my future would be.
Would I turn out great?
Would I be a failure?
A future I am living now.
Despairing
Silently wishing I turn out great
Having nothing to do with failure.
Tears running down my cheek
Feeling the way she felt
I shared her pain
How do I tell?
The series of darts and mines
Navigated to be where I am
Though not good enough
Still striving
Still pushing
Thoughts of these created a rage in me.
A rage I control
But don’t have control over.
A rage heightened
That threatens
Causes great sadness
No peace of mind.
I walk silently
Is it a path of oblivion?
I seek help from here
I seek from there
I seek from where I do not know
Where will help come from?
This I know not
I maintain my pace
Hope I make it through this phase in grace.
Arrive at my destination
And be at peace.
Poem by Stephen Olukanne Ngofa