Oh, Baby!!!
It’s quite interesting my heart no longer beats furiously like the drums of an over-excited masquerade festival drummer, whenever I think
of you.
I no longer get scared and mentally worked up thinking about where you could be or what you could be doing when you don’t pick my calls.
And to think that I no longer fret when you disconnect the call without saying the usual “I love you to the square of infinity”.
I used to love hearing it so much that my heart drops whenever you forget to say it.
How could you have forgotten?
Do you perhaps happen to forget that you love me occasionally?
One would think that my being indifferent is because I no longer love you.
That I have replaced you with someone else.
None of this has happened.
Maybe my being unable to replace you is due to the fact that I hate to think that distance could really come between us.
Like termites creeping in to ruin the world that we have built together. Giving your friends the benefit of saying “I told you” or “You should have known it wasn’t meant to be.”
A failure I am trying so hard to avoid.
I thought it was us against the world, against distance and whatever people would say.
How can I fight alone?
I can’t even tell anyone because they will say, “Why do you keep fighting when he isn’t willing to fight?”
Maybe there is something that I see that no one else sees.
Is my imagination playing with me?
Did you realise that the last time you called and told me to gist you I had nothing to say?
It’s strange, I always loved when I talked to you and you laughed saying, “There is no boring moment with you.”
To think that I no longer feel the need to tell you things.
Perhaps I have gotten used to you not being there.
Someone might think that I have forgotten how to love.
That maybe some memories to reignite the love would do.
I haven’t forgotten how to love.
I don’t have to look up to someone else for what is already embedded within me.
I am complete without you
You only compliment me.
I hope you enjoy every bit of your life just as I am enjoying mine. Learning to reach deep into my heart for what I truly deserve.
Piece by Chukwuma Grace Amara
1 Comment
This is a fantastic piece, Grace.