IT’S A LAUGH SUNDAY
HOLY HUMOUR
Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: “Who is it?” “It’s Mark” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Mark?” “Marijuana from Colombia” “Well done son, come in.”
Another soft knock is heard. “Who is it?” “It’s Matthew” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Matthew?” “Cocaine from Bolivia” “Great work, come in.”
At the next knock Jesus asks, “Who is it?” “It’s John” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring John?” “Crack from New York” “Excellent work son, come in.”
Someone starts pounding on the door. “Who is it?” “It’s Judas” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Judas?” “FREEZE! THIS IS THE FBI!”
BOLTS AND NUTTY
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asks, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess; I’ll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?” The engineer says, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog? Wow!!”
NO COMMENT
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.