IT’S A LAUGH SUNDAY
HOLY HUMOUR
IN GOD HE TRUSTS.
A girl brought home her fiancé, a theology student, to meet her parents for the first time.
Her father was keen to learn what prospects the boy had.
“How do you plan to make a living?” asked the father.
“I don’t know,” said the student, “but God will provide.”
The father raised his eyebrows. “Do you own a car?”
“No,” said the student, “but God will provide.”
“I see. And where are you thinking of living once you’re married?” ”No idea, but I’m sure God will provide.”
Later the mother asked the father what he thought of their prospective son-in-law.
“Not a lot, really,” sighed the father. “He’s got no money and seems to have given precious little thought to the future. But on the other hand, he thinks I’m God!”
THINK ABOUT IT
“Most men seem to marry men who happen to be like their fathers. May be that’s why so many mothers cry at weddings” – Jenny Eclair
IF
If you are standing besides a wishing well with you mother-in-law and she fell into the wishing well, does it mean it actually works?
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
I’m new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
DID YOU HEAR
Did you hear that people are choosing cremation over traditional burial? It shows that they are thinking out of the box.
NO CHANGE
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
IT PAYS TO TAKE MAMA’S ADVICE.
A man answered the phone. “Yes, Mother,” he sighed. “Listen, I’ve had a long day. Jane has been in one of her awkward moods . . . Yes, I know I should be firmer with her, but it’s not easy. You know what she’s like . . . Yes, I remember you warned me . . . Yes, I remember you told me she was a vile creature who would make my life a misery . . . Yes, I remember you begged me not to marry her. You were right, OK? You want to speak to her? I’ll put her on.”
He puts down the phone and called to his wife in the next room: “Jane, your mother wants to talk to you.”