Holy Humour
It’s official. There is a winner for the best “religious” joke of all time.
Comedian Emo Philips tells of walking across a bridge and seeing a man standing on the edge, ready to jump off. He ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
“Well, there’s so much to live for.”
“Like what?”
“Well, are you religious?”
He said, “Yes.”
I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?”
“Christian.”
“Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”
“Protestant.”
“Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”
“Baptist.”
“Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”
“Baptist Church of God!”
“Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God or Reformed Baptist Church of God?”
“Reformed Baptist Church of God!”
“Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?”
His new friend replied, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915.”
To which Philips replied, “Die, heretic!” and he pushed him off.
Sources:
Voting as cited by GQ Magazine; www.emophilips.com
Sunday Quote.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
The Sunday Joke
Smile You’re on Camera.
A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up and it started to thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child.
Although it hadn’t begun to rain, thunder and lightning began cutting through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child’s school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly and with each, the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile. When the mother’s car drew up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her, “What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?”
The child answered, “I stop and smile because God keeps taking my picture.”
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