Holy Humour
Searching for Jesus.
A man is stumbling through the bush totally drunk and then he comes upon a Bishop baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the Bishop. The Bishop turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, ‘Are you ready to find Jesus?’
‘Yes I am’ replies the drunk, so the Bishop grabs him and deeps him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?’
The drunk replies, ‘No, I haven’t.’ The Bishop, shocked with the answer, deeps him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, ‘Have you found Jesus, my brother?’
The drunk again answers, ‘No, I have not found Jesus.’
By this time the Bishop is worried and so he deeps the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.
When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs struggling for breath, the Bishop pulls him up. The Bishop asks the drunk again, ‘For the love of God, have you found Jesus?’
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the Bishop
‘Are you sure this is where JESUS fell in?’
Sunday Quote
I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it’s the government. – Woody Allen
Sunday Joke
Candid Camera
Jesus walks towards the gates of Heaven, quietly whistling for himself. St. Peter raises his eyes from the books and shouts: “You! Hey, you! Where do you think you’re going?”
“Err … St. Peter? You don’t recognize me? Why I’m Jesus! I’m on my way to see my father!”
“Jesus, Schmesus!” says St. Peter. “Come on, boy, surely you can come up with something better than that. How do you expect me to believe you are Jesus? Go away, you’re wasting my time”.
“But Peter! We’ve gone a long way together! It’s me, Jesus! You have to remember me!”
“You? Jesus? You make me laugh. Jesus – with that beard? And those dirty clothes? Hah. No way you’ll get past me pretending you’re Jesus”.
Depressed, Jesus turns around and begins to slowly walk away. After a couple of seconds, St. Peter says: “Hey, Jesus.”
“Yes?”
“Smile. You’re on Candid Camera!”
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