HOLY HUMOUR
A load of Shit
Taoisma: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it’s not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens, it’s the will of Allah.
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you’re bad.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit.
Atheism: No shit.
Jehova’s Witness: Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism: There’s nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn’t.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
Stoicism: This shit doesn’t bother me.
Sunday Quote.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays. – Henny Youngman
Religious Light Bulb Joke
Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the old one.
SUNDAY JOKE
Acts 2:38!
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!” (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”
“Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”
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