HOLY HUMOUR
Just for Two
God greets Mother Teresa at the Pearly Gates. “Thou be hungry, Mother Teresa?” saith God. “I could eat,” Mother Teresa replies. So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.
While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and fine wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, Mother Teresa remains quiet.
The next day God again invites Mother Teresa to join him for a meal. Again, it is tuna and rye bread. Once again looking down, Mother Teresa can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still Mother Teresa says nothing.
The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened. Mother Teresa can’t contain herself any longer. Meekly, she says: “God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! Forgive me, O God, but I just don’t understand…”
God sighs. “Let’s be honest, Mother Teresa,” he says. “For just two people, does it pay to cook?”
Sunday Quote.
A religious awakening, which does not awaken the sleeper to love, has roused him in vain. – Jessamyn West
Religious Light Bulb Joke
Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, since his hands are in the air anyway. A: Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls! A: Twenty-one, one to change it, and twenty to share the experience!
SUNDAY JOKE
Not Enough Money
The pastor’s college-age daughter came running to her in tears. “Mom, you gave me some terrible financial advice!”
“I did? What did I tell you?” said her mother.
“You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”
“That’s one of the largest and best banks in the state,” she said. “There must be some mistake.”
“I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.”
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