HOLY HUMOUR
Team Work
A young couple purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving organic enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down.
The village vicar stopped by to bless the family’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the young farmers. He couldn’t believe his eyes. The farm house was completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there were plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields were filled with crops planted in neat rows. “Amazing!” the preacher says. “Look what God and you have accomplished together!”
“Yes, Vicar,” said the farmer’s wife, “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!”
Sunday Quote.
A religious awakening, which does not awaken the sleeper to love, has roused him in vain. – Jessamyn West
Religious Light Bulb Joke
Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. Five to determine how many can be changed by the year 2025, four to raise the necessary funds, one to go find a national to do the job!
SUNDAY JOKE
Shit Happens, in various World Religions:
Taoism: Shit happens, go with the flow.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: Shit happening is the will of Allah.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit is.
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
Confucianism: Confucius says, “Shit happens”.
7th day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturdays.
Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if you work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
Jehovah’s Witnesses: No shit happens until Armageddon, and it won’t happen to us.
Unitarian: What is this shit?
Mormon: Shit happens again and again and again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Pentecostalism: Praise the shit!
Atheism: There is no shit!
New Age: Shit happens and it happens to smell good if you open your heart to it.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.
Do you have a favourite joke? Please share it with our readers.
Send your jokes to editorial@pridemagazineng.com