Holy Humour
Jesus returns
The Pope is working in his office one day when a very excited priest comes rushing down the hall, robes flying.
“Padre! Padre! I have news!” the priest pants as he skids into the room.
The Pope looks up patiently from his work and asks, “What is your news, Father?”
“Jesus is back! He’s coming here right now! What should we do? What should we do?”
The Pope smiles and picks up his papers and a pen and answers, “Look busy.”
Sunday Quote
“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going
to a garage makes you an automobile.” — Billy Sunday
The Sunday Joke
Dead and buried
The preacher’s Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies. Toward the end of the service, He asked his congregation, “How many of you have forgiven their enemies”?
About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 per cent held up their hands. He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.
“Mrs. Jones?” inquired the preacher “Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any,” she replied. Smiling sweetly.
“Mrs Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?” “Ninety-three,” she replied.
“Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world.”
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, “I outlived the old hags.”
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