The role of Smeagol, the fictional character in the movie, The Lord of the Rings, is the perfect description of my love story infused with betrayal; the only difference is I spent years chasing after a ring from the wrong person.
My name is Vanessa and I met my ex, Uche, while in the university – UNILAG to be precise. We started dating when I was in 200 level and we were both med students. Because of this, we barely had time for a social life or social engagements and when our noses weren’t buried in humongous, frustration-worthy books, we were engaged in some other life-saving tasks (we are the superheroes without capes). Still, this didn’t stop us from falling in love or hanging out from time to time, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with our pseudo-romantic tales.
Did I love him enough to want to marry him? Yes; but was the feeling mutual?
Thanks to the incessant strikes and some other unforeseen setbacks, I spent most of my 20’s in school. Although I looked young, I knew I wasn’t getting any younger, so after bagging my degree, I was ready to tie the knot. I had dated Uche for 8 long years but it didn’t seem he like cared much about moving on to the next level with me, instead, he was keen on frolicking with other women.
It was a Sunday; I remember this because I purposely skipped church just to go visit him. I hadn’t seen him in weeks; our relationship had weakened but I wasn’t going to let the years I had invested my time and efforts go to waste. Grabbing the spare key to his apartment, I drove there. I wasn’t sure he was going to be home, but this time I decided against calling him to ascertain his whereabouts. “I think it is better I surprise him,” I said to myself, excited.
On getting there, I noticed the house was fairly quiet, but I wasn’t surprised either because he lived alone (even though sometimes he had friends over).
“Uche are you home?!” I called out to him loudly, but I didn’t get a response.
Moving towards the bedroom I heard the faint sound of K-Ci and Jojo singing one of their hit songs ‘All My Life’, on the DVD player. “Can you image this guy, I’m here screaming his name and he’s in there listening to music” I began to stomp into the bedroom ready to playfully scold him, but instead, I saw him having sex with another lady.
Barging in, I saw the object of my love humping a woman who wasn’t me and my life flashed before my eyes with thoughts of the time wasted. Yet, all I heard him say was: “Vanessa what are you doing here, why didn’t you call before coming?”
Stumbling back to the corridor, I sauntered into the living room in a state of shock. Then it hit me.
“8 years Uche! 8 years!!” I screamed this with teary eyes, as though he had somehow become plagued with amnesia and forgotten how long it’s been. But I don’t think that mattered much to him. It took him five long minutes to muster the courage to leave the bedroom and as though he hadn’t killed me with his actions, he further drove a nail into the coffin, with his words which are now ingrained in my memory.
“Listen, Vanessa, I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but I don’t love you and I really don’t want to marry you.”
I had never seen him that cold. Continuing he said, “Please don’t waste your time with me, you need to move on and be with someone else who is willing to marry you. I’m tired of this relationship; I’m tired of you!”
I AM TIRED OF YOU! The words, like a broken record, resounded in my mind and continually pierced my heart. Till this day, I still hold on to the resentment I feel towards him.
Uche is married with two kids, while I’m also married to the most amazing man, but the emotional damage caused years ago makes it hard for me to trust again. I carry around a ton of emotional weight that I hope to eventually unburden myself from.