Like most of you, I never believed in Love at first sight. The idea that a feeling bearing such magnitude can be felt with no prior encounter just seemed ridiculous to me. How can I love someone who hasn’t proved to be worthy of my love yet?
From this simple logic, I developed my love mantra: I would never date a man who didn’t give me a reason to love him and even after he did, I’d first test the waters with just one finger. (Don’t blame me; I had a deep-rooted trust issue.) Holding on to my decision was fairly easy; I wasn’t a relationship fanatic. To be honest I didn’t care much for love.
I’m not trying to portray myself as a cold-hearted love grinch; I just want to establish the antithesis that not all women are comically intrigued by relationships. We don’t all care.
But, my rejection of love, at first sight, was disrupted by my father who loved my mother the instant he laid eyes on her.
It was in 1978 when he returned to Nigeria from the UK after being away for 15 years. He came back for a quick business meeting that was to seal the fate of an important deal.
He had a mission, but a higher force had a different plan.
My mom worked as a secretary to the man who my dad was to see (very well scripted, right? I think God fancies romantic movies). Recounting the event, my dad said to me, “It was a Thursday evening and while I was in his office exchanging pleasantries…” He paused to remember his name, “Abbas, Mr Abbas was his name,” continuing, he said, “While I was in his office, he asked for tea to be served, and two minutes later, in walked your mother clutching a tray in a white dress with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen”.
“It took me a while to regain myself after which I asked Abbas who she was. Before he was done spilling every detail, I told him with the strongest confidence: That is my wife! Less than a year later we got married. Two years after that we welcomed our first child, your elder sister.”
While my father shared every detail (which I don’t think necessary to share in its entirety here), I could see the tangible love in his eyes. It was one that transcended my naive mind at the time. I couldn’t understand it, but I wanted to experience it.
So, I overhauled my entire mindset. And, no, I didn’t set out to have an uncomfortable 3D slow-motion moment of love with every random guy – that would have been Yaba left-weird; instead, I opened myself up to experiencing love at first sight.
It took 8 years, but it finally happened.
I went out for lunch with a friend who I hadn’t seen for a year. Unknown to both of us, he invited my soul mate, Tolu. I wasn’t as conversant with the power of energies at the time, but when I met him for the first time at the restaurant, I could feel our energies attract like we were being controlled by a magnetic force-field. We stared at each other as though if we blinked we’d somehow disappear.
At that moment, everything and everyone faded to the background. It was love at first sight and somewhere in my mind; I could hear my late father tell me “I told you so!”
My love story didn’t end in the restaurant. Today, Tolu and I celebrate our 3 years wedding anniversary, and as a side-gift to him, I’ve decided to share our love story from my perspective. (He might tell you something different, but please, ignore him!)