Men! Men!! Men!! Is love real? Does love even exist? Now I believe that love is a figment of my imagination. What do men really want in a woman? Does love really keep a man committed? You need to understand why I’m asking these questions.
I was born into a respectable family. My siblings and I never lacked anything, we weren’t poor, neither were we rich. I was sent to one of the best schools and got admission into a well-known university. It was during my university days that I met Tayo through an online dating app. We talked online for four months before setting a date to meet in person. I had no expectations in mind; I just wanted to meet the person I have been sharing issues with. We met at a restaurant not quite far from my school. Tayo was cool, calm, funny, thoughtful, and he had a nice physique. We clicked well and we proceeded to go on several dates before I eventually accepted his proposal for us to date.
We dated throughout our university days while planning for a future together. He was one of a kind; my friends were so jealous of our relationship that one of them even tried to sabotage it to no avail.
After National Youth Service, I got a job at a school, but Tayo wasn’t that lucky in his job search. He became moody and depressed; got angry at every little thing. I decided to share my salary with him and advised him to start a small business with the money pending when he would get a job. Tayo started a small business dealing in fabrics – buying from wholesalers and selling at retail prices. I got him customers and referred people to him. The business was progressing and I got my happy Tayo back. Finally, it seemed everything was back to normal and everyone could see the change in him.
Two years later, Tayo’s business grew in leaps and bounds. He got a small car to help in his distribution of wares and got a small apartment. We brushed on the topic of marriage and discussed our plans to settle down and build a family. Within those two years, I got promoted and I was also earning a lucrative amount of money with promising investments.
Fast forward to a few months, my mum called me to discuss what my future plans with Tayo were. I brushed on the topic with Tayo and he told me we still needed to put some things in place because of our children. However, before the end of the year, Tayo proposed to me, I was so happy and full of joy. I was over the moon and believed things were finally falling into place.
One particular Friday evening, a friend of mine called to tell me that she saw Tayo at a hotel with a lady but I told her that it wasn’t Tayo because my own Tayo was at Abuja meeting a client. This became a monthly occurrence from different friends every time Tayo travelled and it began to affect my work performance. My mentor who I confided in advised me to look beyond my love and investigate the issue since it was more than one person mentioning it to me. I tried paying attention to Tayo’s behaviour to see if he had changed or if he acted differently with me but he still seemed like the same guy I knew back in the university.
On the 4th of March – the day my world came crumbling down, my cousin who was in town called to tell me she saw Tayo at the Mall in a baby store with a pregnant lady. She berated me for not following Tayo and his “sister” for the shopping, but I lied to her that I had an emergency at work and I couldn’t get in touch with them because my phone had died. My cousin eventually disclosed their location, and I took a bike to catch up. On getting to the baby store, I saw Tayo and the lady who wasn’t Tayo’s sister but a client which he introduced to me before the proposal. They were both wearing wedding rings. I was numb, he looked shocked and she asked him why his sister looked pale. Me?!! His sister?!!!
Without saying a word, I simply turned and went back home while asking myself where I went wrong. Why couldn’t I notice the signs? Tayo was married with a child on the way. He sent me a message saying, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way. I didn’t know how to tell you after everything you have done for me.” He then proceeded to tell me how they met at one of his numerous meetings and clicked. I couldn’t hold my anguish any longer. Was I wrong to have loved him; waited for him? Did he ever love me? Was everything just a lie?