In this part of the world, we don’t joke with wedding ceremonies. They are the perfect avenue for rich culture display, merriment and family reunion. Most times the celebrants are expected to observe certain traditions and follow certain rules and the guests are not spared either. There are certain etiquette rules they too have to abide by while attending the occasion. Here are tips you should know as a wedding guest:
1. Don’t wear white
The general idea is that the brides wear white or shades of white, including ivory, cream and very rarely beige e.t.c. Don’t try and compete with the bride by wearing anything that is primarily white or close to white. You are also not allowed to wear anything that will keep all attention on you rather than the bride. However, you can wear something with a touch of white, as long as the white does not dominate your total ensemble. Also, stay away from really plunging necklines, and thigh high slits. It is the bride’s day and it is important she has all the attention and shine.
2. Follow all protocols
There are so many social media platforms now and its users are always very keen to upload photos of awesome moments of the event to their social media platforms. Some couples will allow you to do just that at the wedding, ensure you do not overshadow either the bride or the groom in the photo. In other words, do not post a less-than-flattering photo of the bride even if you happen to look really cute. Again, remember to include the couples’ hashtags on all the wedding photos. If you aren’t sure what they want, just do not post anything. Also, try not to get in the way of the professional photographer who has actually been paid by the groom to take official photos of the wedding. Don’t try in any way to take the shine off the couple.
3. Take a gift to the wedding
The norm for Nigerians is to go to the wedding, dance eat and go home. Unless they are related to the bride or groom, they hardly attend with a gift. Some people justify not gifting the bride and groom with the excuse that they paid for Aso-ebi or they will spray cash on the dance floor, but that notwithstanding. Unless the invitation specifies “no gifts”, it is important that you make a gift in honour of your invitation and to show your thoughtfulness. The great thing about this is that you have up to about 6 months to give the bride/groom a wedding present, so if you miss your chance at the wedding itself, you can still send them a gift later on.
4. Be careful with souvenirs
Souvenir time is always a bit chaotic and problematic, especially in Nigerian weddings. No matter how negligible the package or empty the goodie bag, wedding guests tend to see it as a gold medal and go extra lengths to secure as many bags as possible for themselves and even friends that did not attend the event. Some people even now take some part of the decoration, like a floral arrangement or centerpiece on the table, home. It is important to note that weddings are not a (grab and go) opportunity. It is not to be attende because of what you hope to get from it.
5. Attend every aspect of the wedding
Some guests skip the church ceremony and just go to the reception event as they never want to sit through that long religious ceremony. You hear people say “I came for the food”. Not attending the church or mosque or court ceremony is not an acceptable practice though, as the couple who sent you an invitation expect you to join them for the full event. The religious ceremony and reception go hand in hand. You may think the bride and groom will not notice, but the truth is that they remember who shows up and who does not…and they also remember those who leave early too.