Writing your own wedding vows can be one of the most personal and memorable aspects of your wedding day. It’s a chance to speak directly from the heart and to express your love and commitment in your own unique words. But the process of crafting those vows can feel daunting. How do you put a lifetime of feelings into a few meaningful sentences? Don’t worry, with the right approach, you can write vows that will “wow” both your partner and your guests.
- Start with reflection
Before you pick up the pen, take a moment to reflect on your relationship. Think about the journey that brought you here, the shared experiences, and what your partner means to you. Ask yourself:
- When did you first realise you were in love?
- What do you admire most about your partner?
- How has your relationship changed or strengthened you?
- What promises are most important to make in your marriage?
These questions will help guide the tone and substance of your vows, ensuring that they’re not only heartfelt but also deeply personal.
- Set the right tone
Decide what tone fits your relationship best. Is it lighthearted and funny, or are you both more sentimental and serious? Your vows should feel true to your personalities. If your relationship is filled with laughter, it’s okay to infuse humour into your vows. On the other hand, if you’re more reserved, then a simple, elegant declaration of love might be perfect.
Here’s an example of a funny vow:
“I promise to always let you have the last slice of pizza, even when I really want it.”
And a more sentimental vow:
“I vow to love you not only for who you are today but for the person you will become, and the person we will become together.”
- Structure your vows
A good rule of thumb is to create a structure for your vows, so they flow smoothly. Here’s a simple format to guide you:
- Begin with the past: Share a brief story or moment that reflects your relationship, how you met, or when you realised this person was “the one.”
- Speak to the present: Talk about what you love about your partner now. Highlight the traits that make them special and why you’re excited to marry them.
- Promise the future: End by making promises. These don’t have to be grand gestures but should reflect what’s most important to you as a couple. Consider including both practical promises (“I vow to always cheer you on”) and heartfelt ones (“I vow to love you unconditionally through all of life’s challenges”).
- Keep it short and sweet
Your vows don’t need to be long to be impactful. Aim for about one to two minutes of speaking time. Brevity ensures that your words remain focused and meaningful. Resist the urge to cram everything into your vows. Choose the most significant points that reflect your love and commitment.
- Practice, but don’t memorise
Once you’ve written your vows, practice saying them out loud. This will help you get comfortable with the flow and make any adjustments if something feels awkward. While it’s good to be familiar with what you’re going to say, avoid memorising your vows word-for-word. This can add pressure on the day of your wedding. Instead, focus on the emotion behind the words, and trust that they’ll come out naturally.
- Embrace the emotions
It’s perfectly normal to get emotional while reading your vows—after all, you’re making lifelong promises to the person you love most in the world. If you tear up or laugh, embrace the moment. Authenticity is what makes your vows truly powerful. Your partner and guests will appreciate the raw emotion because it shows just how much you care.
- Seek inspiration, but stay authentic
It’s okay to look for inspiration in poems, quotes, or other vows, but be sure your vows still feel authentic to your relationship. Avoid clichés or phrases that don’t resonate with you. This is your moment to express your love in your voice—let your personality shine through.
Your wedding vows are more than just words; they are a symbol of your commitment, love, and partnership. By taking the time to reflect on your relationship, crafting a structure, and speaking from the heart, you’ll be able to write vows that truly “wow.” However, note that what matters most is that your vows are genuine, meaningful, and personal to you and your partner.