Some of my friends, while reading this, will think that I’ve lost my mind. However, what I’m expressing here is my personal opinion on how I’ll address an adulterous spouse.
If I found out beyond reasonable doubt that my man is unfaithful, I’ll take some time to reflect.
- Why was he was tempted to stray? Was it a mistake?
- Have I been approachable and loving towards him?
- Is our home well kept?
- How is my relationship with his parents, brothers and sisters? Is it cordial and friendly?
- Do I offer my shoulder and support when he needs it?
- Have I been taking good care of myself? Do I dress in a manner he likes and admires like in the days of our courtship?
- Am I overbearing and insistent that he does things my way?
- Am I too demanding?
From my introspection, if I realize that I’ve not erred in carrying out my responsibilities, I’ll know my actions didn’t lead him to stray. This being the case, what will be my next line of action?
With a calm demeanour, I’ll have a heart to heart conversation with him in the morning, as early as 5 am on a weekend since he won’t need to be at work. Avoiding to raise the issue of his infidelity, I’ll express my feelings of love to him while observing his behaviour for a change of heart.
If after this, he continues to see the woman, I’ll confide in his mother and seek her advice. I’ll plead with her to call her son to order for the sake of our marriage. Simultaneously, I’ll pray for God’s intervention in the matter. But no matter what happens, I’ll not confide in his friends or mine because I am a firm believer that this will only make our marriage the subject of gossip and mockery.
But what if after all this, he still continues cheating? Will I end our marriage? My answer to this is no. Our relationship is no longer what it used to be, hence there will be some distance but I’ll not fail in my duties and responsibilities towards him. And to retain my sanity, I’ll go with the flow and bend to the reality that I’m married to a polygamous man.
The best case scenario is that my unfaithful spouse will find that I love and care for him despite his waywardness and change his ways.
Opinion of Adaugo Azorom