Don’t Worry; You’ll Be Fine

My beloved daughter,

If you are mindful and introspective in your journey through life, you’ll realize the older you get, the more aware you become of yourself. Life will humble you gradually as you age and you’ll realise that there were many things you should not have done but did; many wrongs you should have overlooked but didn’t; numerous mistakes you should have avoided but didn’t. You’ll become aware of the energy you expended on inconsequential matters.

But what may make you take so many wrong steps and turns in life? It may be your mind and the myriad of imaginations it habitually cooks up. Oftentimes, our imagination creates negative images and pictures that bend our will and strength to fear, leaving us paralyzed. ‘Worry’, ‘anxiety’, and ‘fear’ are dark emotions that can overwhelm you while impelling your action – or inactions, in most cases.

We live in a tumultuous world where violence, crime, natural disasters, terrorism, economic unrest, unemployment, disease, and death are ubiquitous. Hence you are bound to be fearful; you fear for your children’s future, your financial woes, your safety, etc. Yet in reality, most of what you spend your time to worry about never happens – it’s all in your head. It’s your weighty imagination of “what if’s”.

Fear distracts you from taking meaningful actions because you spend more time fixated on trying not to fail, than attempting to succeed. You put off productive activity and yield to procrastination instead of taking steps to kickstart your new idea or intended plan. And when things don’t work out, you act out of frustration and channel your anger towards others.

Five hundred years ago, Michel de Montaigne said: “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.”

Fear is the culprit and worry is the epitome of fear so you have to conquer its unhealthy cycle. One approach is to practice the advice the great American philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson, gave to his daughter who was worried over a mistake she’d made. He said:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders, losses, and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; let today go so you can begin tomorrow well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. Each new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.“

If you heed Emerson’s words, you’ll be free from the burden of worry and you can focus your mind on positive, productive thoughts, leading to pragmatic actions. My dear, his letter encapsulates my thoughts, but I will like to conclude with a statement from Desiderata:

“Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.”

Love always.

Dad