Dear Dorothy,
I am in my early thirties. Most of my peers are married with children. The biological clock is ticking away and I feel pressured to settle down with a suitable partner and have children. However, I am not in any relationship at present.
In my twenties, there were several opportunities to consider an arranged marriage to sons of family friends but I was dismissive of the idea. I told my parents that I would not consider it. No, way! But, in my present predicament, I wonder if I should have given it a chance, and met up with a few of the prospects. Who knows what may have happened? Maybe I’d be married to one of them by now.
I am reflecting on this because I know a lot of young ladies out there are being urged by their parents to consider meeting the sons of their friends, and like me, they are not even giving it a chance.
I personally think that young ladies should not think of arranged marriage as old-fashioned and belonging to another era. They should have an open mind to evaluate any prospect and make up their mind based on the young man in question, after getting to know each other after the initial introduction by their parents. What do you think?
My dear,
When it comes to arranged marriages, I think the term should be changed to “introduction marriages.” In this day and age, I believe what often happens is that parents ask their child to look at so and so’s daughter or son as a possible candidate for marriage based on certain qualities they see in the boy or girl and the existing relationship between the two families.
More now, than in the distant past, it is up to the boy or girl to evaluate the prospect by agreeing to dates to judge for themselves their compatibility. None of the parties involved is forced to accept any candidate. It is left to their decision.
Since this is the case in these modern times, I am inclined to agree with you that young ladies should have an open mind to the idea of what I term “introduction marriages.” They should date the prospective husband, and make up one’s mind one way or the other instead of just being totally dismissive. Who knows what it may evolve to.
Now, in your own case, I advise you to forget the past, what you should have done, or not done about the arranged marriage your parents wanted for you. You are still a very young woman with your whole life still ahead of you. You should not think about whether it will or will not happen, just believe you are going to be married to your own husband who will love and cherish you, and you will love and cherish him. Both of you will have good children of your own and live to see your children’s children. Believe and be positive about your life. Live in the present and forget the past.