HOLY HUMOUR
Environmental Impact Statement
God called down to Moses and said, “I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?
Moses replied, “Most merciful Lord, please give me the good news first.”
“Well, Moses, the good news is that I’ve chosen you to deliver my people from bondage,” God answered. “I will force Pharaoh to release my children by causing years of pestilence in Egypt. There will be plagues of locusts and frogs and inconceivable devastation upon the land. Pharaoh’s armies will chase you as you try to leave, but do not fear because I will part the waters of the Red Sea to aid in your escape.”
“And the bad news, Lord?” Moses inquired.
God answered, “You will have to prepare the environmental impact statement.”
Sunday Quote.
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
Actual Announcement from Church Bulletin
The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
SUNDAY JOKE
Insufficient Funds
The dull-minded church treasurer came running, furious, to the pastor. “You gave me some terrible financial advice!”
“I did? What did I tell you?” asked the pastor.
“You told me to put our money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”
“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the state,” the pastor said. “There must be some mistake.”
“I don’t think so,” he sniffed. “They just returned one of our checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.”
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