Dear Dorothy,
I’m a 22-year-old woman, and I find myself in a difficult position. My family comes from a long line of doctors, and it’s always been assumed that I would follow in their footsteps. My parents even started calling me “Dr.” from a young age.
The problem is, I’ve never wanted to be a doctor. I’ve always been drawn to the arts, especially writing and photography. I recently received an offer to work with a creative agency, which feels like a dream come true. However, my parents are devastated and keep insisting I’m throwing away a legacy. They’ve even suggested that I’ll regret this later in life.
I love my family and don’t want to disappoint them, but I feel like I’m living someone else’s life when I try to meet their expectations. How can I honour my family while staying true to myself?
Sincerely,
Clara
Dear Clara,
Your dilemma is one many people face, and it speaks to the delicate balance between respecting our roots and cultivating our individuality. Family traditions can be a source of pride, but they should never feel like a life sentence.
It’s clear that your family wants what they believe is best for you, but it’s also worth remembering that their hopes come from their own experiences and values—not necessarily yours. Following your passion doesn’t mean disrespecting your family’s legacy; it means building your own.
Here’s a way to approach this. Sit down with your parents and have an honest, heartfelt conversation. Share your love and appreciation for the path they’ve chosen, but explain that your strengths and interests lie elsewhere. You could even highlight how the qualities they admire in a doctor—dedication, creativity, and problem-solving—will shine through in your work as a writer and photographer.
If they’re open to it, invite them to see what your career entails. Sometimes, fear of the unknown can amplify their resistance. Show them how much thought you’ve put into this decision and your plans for the future. It’s not about rejecting their dreams for you but crafting a life where you thrive.
Remember, you owe it to yourself to live authentically. While it might take time for them to accept your path, staying true to who you are will ultimately serve you—and, in time, perhaps your family will come to respect and admire the new tradition you’re creating.
Warm regards,
Dorothy