When it comes to domestic abuse in relationships and marriages, the signs are visible before marriage. It is best to avoid such situations before it becomes harder to leave because of marital, family and children obligations. If the relationship is yet to begin, once you see the tell-tale signs, don’t wait any longer and run for your dear life!
Here are signs your marriage will be violent before signing on the dotted lines:
1. Mood swings or dual personality
Sometimes, the person acts like they are so sweet and nice, they make you feel very special and important. Other times, they are mean-spirited and harsh, preferring to manipulate you with silence and other forms of punishment. Mood swings are also red flags; you don’t want to spend your life on such a partner that his/her mood changes every now and then.
2. Anger
How does your partner manage anger? Do they act irrationally when angry? Like scream, punch the wall or kick furniture items? When a person raises their voice when arguing, they have lost control of the conversation and want to intimidate you by asserting power and dominance. Shouting at you is a form of verbal abuse meant to diminish you. Please don’t allow it; leave immediately.
3. Verbal abuse
When their words belittle you or insult your physical appearance, finances, family and behaviour, that is a big red flag. If he/she is bent on you submitting or acting the way they like, then take your leave immediately.
4. Control and jealousy
Does your partner want to control you? Are they jealous when you are with other people? Do they go through your phones and social media to find out if you are cheating and even accuse you of cheating all in a bid to isolate you further? If you answered yes, you need to call the relationship off. Chances are your partner wants to isolate you to harm you.
5. Isolation
Does your partner isolate you from others? It may be they want you away from people who can protect you. If they don’t like any of your friends or family members, they want you all to themselves and sell an ‘us against the world’ ideology, run from them. Healthy relationships are not codependent.