Joke of the week: A pastor wound up his preaching on death with this solemn statement, “By this time next year, I am sure that some member of this parish will die.” Every face in the congregation wore an expression of doom and dread, every face but that of a man who was broadly smiling, even chuckling. “What’s so funny?” demanded the minister. “I’m thinking,” answered the man, “I’m not a member of this parish.”
NOT TEMPTED
Why did you strike your little sister?
Well, we were playing Adam and Eve, and instead of tempting me with the apple, she ate it herself.
HEAR AFTER
HE: “Do you believe in the hereafter? – I want a kiss”
SHE: “What´s the hereafter got to do with a kiss?”
HE: “That´s what I´m hereafter”
QUOTES
“Who can give me a quote from the Bible relating to the life and death of Jesus Christ?” asked the Sunday School teacher.
“Judas went out and hanged himself,” answered little John.
“And can you give another quote from any other part of the New Testament of the Bible?”
“Go thou and do likewise.”
THE SUNDAY JOKE
Don’t step on the ducks
Boudreaux, Thibodaux, and Robichaux die together in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven — don’t step on the ducks.”
So they enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, Robichaux accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says “Robichaux, your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this “ugly woman!”
The next day, Thibodaux steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Robichaux. Boudreaux has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.
He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on … a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. Boudreaux remarks, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?” She says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.”