SUNDAY HUMOUR
HOLY HUMOUR
Hymn #365
A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river!” With even greater emphasis he added, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river!” Caught up in the fervor of the moment, he shook his fist heavenward, and bellowed, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river!” His sermon completed, the minister sat down to catch his breath.
The cantor stood, and trying hard to keep a straight face, announced “For our closing hymn, let us sing #365, ‘Shall We Gather at the River.’”
Sunday Quote.
No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means. – George Bernard Shaw
Actual Announcement from Church Bulletin
Today’s Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? With hymns from a full choir.
SUNDAY JOKE
Two Veterans’.
The pastor was delighted to be able to perform a couple’s wedding the following year.
“Let’s plan on meeting five or six times for the premarital counseling,” the pastor said.
“Oh, we don’t need premarital counseling,” the bride said dismissively. “We know everything there is to know about marriage.’
‘Yeah,” the groom agreed. “We’ve both been married twice before.”
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