Marriage, in my opinion, is a great institution, but it’s not a bed of roses. During my teenage years, I remember reading Dennis Robins romantic novels only to grow up to the reality that the world, away from the surreal imaginations of a novelist, is a lot different. Truthfully, matrimony may change your physical appearance; make you slimmer, bigger, richer, poorer, et cetera.
While dating with marriage in view, it’s important to ‘shine your eyes,’ like they say, to avoid being played and your heart befuddled. During your courtship, take into cognizance the person’s character flaws and strengths to avoid stepping into a union that you’ll live to regret. If you’re uncomfortable with certain aspects of their character, don’t assume you can change them within the institution of marriage (because you can’t). Don’t get stuck on a one-way street to a life of frustration.
Women are more capable of changing once they get married, but, it is near impossible for most males to give up on their cheating ways or unreasonable habits.
Marriage is not an institution to go into lightly. We have been conditioned to accept that married couples should be committed, faithful and loyal to each other and society expects this to be so as well. Given that most relationships are problem-laden, marriage doesn’t automatically influence your character for the best if you don’t possess good values already. You’ve got to be a decent, desiring and committed human being before saying “I do” in order to take it seriously.
Marriage alone cannot fix character flaws. It is the decision, determination and discipline of an individual that can do this. Since marriage by its nature connotes a decision to be committed, faithful, loving, loyal and caring for each other in all circumstances, your character flaws can undermine these principles causing your partner to feel caged and restricted in a marriage fraught with tension.
For those who truly desire to be someone’s spouse – which is different from simply not wanting to be alone, you should recognize and put in the work needed before you make the commitment to be with someone else.
Remember you can’t change a person who hasn’t made a personal decision to change, so don’t fall into the trap.