Every relationship thrives on communication. The more open the communication is, the better. When it comes to romantic relationships, validation and understanding make the love grow. There are times we invalidate our partner’s feelings and experiences without our knowledge. This leads to relationship problems as the invalidation continues over time. The end result is a breakup and none of us wants to experience that. To avoid this, we need to be self-aware and know what we do that invalidates our partners. Here’s how:
- Ignoring your partner’s feelings
Whenever your partner opens up about their emotions, you should not dismiss or belittle their feelings. Avoid saying things like, “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re overreacting” because it can make your partner feel invalidated. Instead, give a listening ear and be non-judgemental to their emotions.
- Being quick to offer solutions
Though your intentions are noble, offering solutions should be done the right way. Doing this to fast may make your partner feel unheard. Sometimes your partner just wants to vent and share their feelings without seeking quick answers. The best solution is to show empathy and validate their emotions before coming up with possible solutions.
- Making comparisons
Making comparisons with your partner’s experiences to others suggests their pain is insignificant. This can be invalidating. Every person is unique, and your partner’s feelings are valid so don’t compare to others’ experiences.
- Dismissing their concerns
Don’t wave aside your partner’s concerns by saying, “You worry too much” or “It’s not a big deal”. This can make them feel unheard. Note that all worries and concerns are rooted, and addressing them with empathy shows you value your partner.
- Interrrupting
Don’t interrupt your partner. It is the height of invalidation. Also, not fully engaging them when they share something important can communicate that you lack interest. Your partner requires undivided attention. Show your concern by asking the right questions, and actively listen make your partner feel heard.