Dear Dorothy,
I am a twenty-eight man working with in a company in Enugu. My uncle is the owner of this same company. I am dating a girl of twenty who is a student in one of the State’s higher institutions. I recently introduced her to my uncle, knowing there is a possibility of building a life with her, and wanting her to know my true intentions. However, I recently saw both her and my uncle coming out of a hotel together holding hands and being playful with each other like lovers. I suspect they are having an affair. Based on my suspicion, I immediately ended the relationship with the girl. However, I know I love her deeply, and miss her so much. I confronted her with what I witnessed but she denied any close relationship with my uncle. I do not believe her explanation. But as I said, I really do love her. Do I dismiss my suspicions and carry on with her as though nothing happened, and risk getting hurt further down the line? I am really confused – on one hand I love her, and on the other, I don’t think I can bear a betrayal. What do I do?
My Dear,
It is rather unfortunate that some people do not know what love is hence the absence of loyalty in some relationships. Do not blame yourself for loving the girl, or introducing her to your uncle. You did the right thing by ending the relationship. I do understand that you can’t turn your feelings off as if it were a running tap, but you should actually thank your stars for this early betrayal. Imagine how you would be feeling if she did this as your wife. It is better to deal with the heartache now when it is much easier to cut off ties with her since you are not married. It definitely will not be healthy for you to have married someone whose sincerity and loyalty and loyalty you doubt. The unnecessary anxiety and tension, which can result from the dealing with your emotions in situations like this, may compromise your health physically and mentally. Do your best to let her go; it really does get better with time. Focus instead on finding someone worthy of the deep love you want to share.
Chief (Mrs.) Dorothy C. Anyiam-Osigwe OON is an Agony Columnist, Writer and Company Executive.