Dear Aunt,
I have always struggled with a fear of heights. Even standing on a balcony or using an escalator in a shopping centre makes my heart race. It feels irrational, but I cannot seem to control it. This fear is starting to limit my life. I avoid certain places, turn down invitations, and feel embarrassed when others notice my discomfort. Is there any way I can overcome this?
Yours sincerely,
Nilsa
Dear Nilsa,
What you are experiencing is more common than you might think. A fear of heights, often called acrophobia, can range from mild unease to intense anxiety. While it may feel overwhelming, it is important to know that it can be managed with patience and the right approach.
First, try not to judge yourself too harshly. Fear is a natural response designed to protect us. In your case, it has simply become overactive. Acknowledging this without shame is the first step towards regaining control.
You may find it helpful to gradually expose yourself to heights in a safe and controlled way. Start small. Stand near a low step or look out from a slightly elevated position. As your comfort level grows, you can slowly increase the challenge. The goal is not to rush, but to build confidence at your own pace.
Breathing techniques can also make a significant difference. When anxiety rises, your breathing often becomes shallow and quick, which can intensify the fear. Practising slow, steady breathing can help calm your body and mind in those moments.
It may also help to shift your focus. Instead of looking down, fix your gaze on a stable object at eye level or above. This simple adjustment can reduce the sense of imbalance and panic.
If your fear continues to interfere with your daily life, consider speaking with a professional. Therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy are known to be effective in addressing phobias by helping you reframe your thoughts and responses.
Finally, be patient with yourself. Progress may come in small steps, but each step matters. You are not defined by this fear, and with time and effort, it can become far less powerful.
Yours kindly,
Dorothy