LAUGH QUOTE
I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body home?
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
Question: Is that yours???
Wise Guy: No, I just like showing of my friend’s things.
ASKING FOR TROUBLE
Once there were three boys who went to the park, their names were: Shut Up, Manners and Trouble. Trouble got lost so Shut Up told Manners to wait while he went to seek for help.
He saw a police man and approached him for help.
The police man asked him, “What is your name?”
He said: “Shut Up.”
The police man yelled, “What is your name?”
He responded, “Shut Up!”,
The police man then asked, “where are your manners?”
The boy replied, “out in the park”.
Then the police man asked, “Are you looking for trouble?”
Then the boy said, “Yes, how did you know?”
CAN’T A MAN BATH IN PEACE?
A drunk man fell in a well and people came to save him… but no one could enter the well to bring him out. Later, one man came up with an idea to throw the drunk man a rope to try to pull him out.
When the rope hit the drunk man’s head, he angrily shouted: “Pick your own well man, I am bathing!”
CROSSCHECKING.
The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of “yes/no” type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet – Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. ”I finished the exam in half an hour. But, she says, I am rechecking my answers.”
CUTTING COMMENT
“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” – Goethe
MARRIED LIFE
PRESCRIPTION
Man walks into a chemist.
Man: I need some poison.
Chemist: I can’t sell you any poison until you show me some prescription.
Man pulls out his wedding certificate and shows the chemist.
Chemist: Good enough man – Which one shall I give. Slow action or quick one?