Dear Agony Aunt,
I am exhausted all the time. For the past few months, I have struggled to get enough sleep. I either lie awake for hours thinking about everything I need to do, or I wake up several times during the night and cannot get back to sleep.
I have tried going to bed earlier, but that has not helped. I wake up feeling tired, struggle to concentrate at work, and even simple tasks feel overwhelming. My family says I have become irritable, and I know they are right.
I keep telling myself things will improve once life becomes less stressful, but that day never seems to come. Is this just part of being an adult, or should I be worried? How do I finally get the rest I desperately need?
-Stella
Dear Stella,
First of all, what you are experiencing is more common than you might think. Many people dismiss poor sleep as something they have to live with, especially when work, family responsibilities, or financial pressures begin to pile up. However, constantly missing out on quality sleep is not something you should ignore.
Sleep is not a luxury. It is essential for your physical health, emotional well-being, memory, and ability to function during the day. When you do not get enough rest, your body and mind cannot recover properly. Over time, this can affect your mood, concentration, immune system, and overall quality of life.
It is worth asking yourself a few questions. Are you drinking caffeine late in the day? Do you spend time on your phone or laptop just before bed? Are worries and anxious thoughts keeping your mind active when you should be winding down? Identifying what might be contributing to your sleeplessness can be the first step towards improving it.
Try creating a calming bedtime routine. Go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time every day, including weekends. Keep your bedroom quiet, cool, and comfortable. Avoid heavy meals, alcohol, and stimulating activities close to bedtime. Instead, read a book, listen to relaxing music, or practise gentle breathing exercises before going to sleep.
It is also important to manage stress during the day rather than carrying it into the night. Writing down tomorrow’s tasks before bedtime can help clear your mind. Regular physical activity can also improve sleep, provided it is not done too close to bedtime.
If your sleep problems have continued for several months and are affecting your daily life, it would be wise to speak to your doctor or another qualified healthcare professional. Persistent sleep difficulties can sometimes be linked to anxiety, depression, hormonal changes, or medical conditions that deserve proper assessment and treatment.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. You do not have to earn the rest. Looking after yourself is not a sign of weakness. It is one of the most important investments you can make in your health and happiness.
Wishing you many peaceful nights ahead.
Dorothy