By Dorothy C. Anyiam-Osigwe
My husband and I have been married for eight years and although we have been trying to have a baby, so far we have not been successful. This has put a lot of strain on our relationship. There is nothing wrong with either of us medically. I know some of the members of my husband’s family are asking him to divorce me and marry another wife. Deep down, I feel we will have children by God’s grace. What can I do to save my marriage.
My dear,
Parenthood is always an exciting new chapter for a couple after marriage. However, when children are not born into a family in the first few years of marriage, this poses an enormous strain on the couple within the marriage. The constant interference of the relations of both parties rather than help matters tend to aggravate it the more. If the lady in question does not take a hold of herself, she will find herself being directed from one prayer house to the other, one “powerful pastor” to the other, one native doctor to the other, all leading to confusion and if care is not taken permanent damage to her reproductive organs due to the uncertified and unorthodox herbs and concoctions taken all in a bid to have a child.
I advice most strongly, that you resist going down this route with all the will power you can muster, Nothing, I repeat, absolutely nothing but pain and misery can be gained from this. It’s important that you put your health first before forcing yourself to have a child.
The fact is that many factors are beyond our control when it comes conceiving a child; and the emotional, financial and physical challenges that accompany fertility difficulties can feel overwhelming.
In this Twenty-first Century, there are many medical options available for those seeking to have children to do so. You and your husband should ask your doctor to refer you to a fertility specialist for advice on all available options. Explore your medical options, be patient, and above all, do not blame yourself or each other.