My husband’s best friend is keen on having an affair with me. He keeps trying to touch and caress me when he thinks no one will notice. He also makes comments about our getting a room at a hotel. I initially thought he was joking, just trying to flirt; surely he cannot be serious about having an affair with his best friend’s wife. But, it escalated, and he began calling, asking me if I wanted to go out with him. He sometimes sends me suggestive texts, which I delete immediately. I have told him in no uncertain terms that I have no intention to be disloyal to my husband. But, he hasn’t stopped, mentioning he would “make it worth my time”.
I truly have no intention of being unfaithful to my husband, and want these unwelcome propositions of his best friend to stop. Do you think I should tell my husband?
My Dear,
It is unfortunate that your husband’s best friend wants to have an affair with you. You are doing the right thing by telling him without mincing words that you love your husband and have no intention of betraying him.
It is so unfortunate that a good number of men make passes at their friend’s wives. What they stand to gain by such, I have always been at a loss to understand. I would advise you keep standing your ground. Let him know unequivocally where you stand, and do your best to avoid situations where you may be alone with him.
I always advise women faced with your kind of dilemma to proceed with caution, even telling them not to talk to their husbands about men who admire them. The reason I advise caution is that the lady before bringing it up with her husband has to be certain of his reaction. The positive outcome would be that he confronts his best friend, and stands by his wife. However, this is far from certain. Would the husband blame the wife for attracting such solicitations? Would this be a start of intense jealously on his part, monitoring his wife’s associations with any man? One can never tell.
But, what I am sure of is that as sure as the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, men will admire and talk to women just as women admire men. If you can handle it, your husband’s friend’s overtures to you should never be made a subject of discussion with anyone except yourself. For the would-be lover, tell him in no uncertain terms by your words and actions that his overtures are certainly not welcome. I am sure he will get the message soon enough.